


Coming Out

by Laurasauras



Series: Because You're My Favourite Movie [2]
Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 21:49:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18925660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: A couple of people wanted to know how Dave came out to his Bro following my fic Rooftops and Invitations.





	Coming Out

Karkat drives you home and you take the opportunity to make out with him for like twenty minutes before he complains about the seatbelt buckle digging into his hip and you reluctantly admit that you could just kiss him again tomorrow. 

‘What’s tomorrow?’ he asks.

‘I dunno? Come over, play video games and kiss my face a bunch?’ 

Karkat blushes and shoves your face away from him. You unsuccessfully try and get back to him.

‘Come on, I gotta dive out of the closet babe, you gotta help me be as dramatic about this as possible.’

‘You better be joking,’ he says. ‘I am not going to help you tick off some big list or whatever the fuck.’

You stop struggling to get past his hands to kiss him again and smile at him nervously. 

‘Dude, I just like kissing you,’ you say.

He puts his hands down and you grab them with your own.

‘I can be chill,’ you assure him. ‘It’s basically my specialty, I’m a chill motherfucker, Kat.’

‘You’re a steaming bag of shit, Strider,’ he says.

You grin because he enunciates his insults so carefully like he’s afraid you’re gonna miss his brilliance and relax back into your seat. 

‘Cool, so we don’t have to suddenly be nice to each other I take it?’

Karkat groans and grabs the front of your shirt. For a second you think he’s going to punch you, which is a pretty stupid thing to think, really, but then he pulls you in and kisses you.

‘That’s as much niceness as you’re getting from me, you needy bitch-monster, now go home.’

He lets you kiss him again before you open the door and climb out. You lean down to look at him from outside.

‘Hey, am I actually being too needy? Should I like, wait some prerequisite amount of time before pestering you?’

Karkat groans and hides his face in his hands and falls sideways into his steering wheel. It miraculously does not beep.

‘No,’ he says, very muffled. ‘I would be de-fucking-lighted if you messaged me before I even managed to get home and I promise to tell you if you’re being an actual dickweed as opposed to just the endearing kind and can you please not focus on the fact that I said that I think your bullshit is endearing because it is, I fucking like you, I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t and yeah, now there’s this so obviously I am all in on the bullshit express for God only knows what reasons and can you just leave before I say anything else?’

You climb back into the car, knee on the seat and head awkwardly banging on the rearview mirror to give him a last kiss on his hands since they’re covering his face.

‘Don’t be cute!’ he says, finally pulling them away to glare at you instead. ‘No! I refuse to let you get more appealing, I’m fucking leaving, go come out to your brother or whatever.’

‘’Kay,’ you say, smirking at him. 

You actually feel a lot better now that he’s made it clear that your actual friendship isn’t going to change that much. Which is bizarre. You’ve literally never been friends with a girl you’ve been into before.

You consider different ironic ways of coming out to your Bro as you climb the stairs to your apartment and the building abruptly decides to reduce the amount of stairs it has by at least half out of malice towards you and your need for just a bit more time to consider the issue. Just to ensure that it’s funny, not because you’re nervous or anything lame like that.

You open the door and Bro and Jake turn automatically from where they were in the kitchen. 

‘Yo,’ you say. ‘Please say Jake’s cooking, not you.’

Jake grins at you reassuringly.

‘I’m teaching him lasagna! It’s easy and you can freeze it, so it’s more bang for your buck!’

‘But you’re cooking this one, right?’ you check.

Bro gives you the finger and goes back to reading from the cookbook. You dump your bag at the door and hop onto a stool. Maybe they’ll have something for you to taste. You could eat it even if Bro had been the one to cook it, you’ve got a stomach of steel, but you’d really rather it was Jake.

‘So, Karkat asked me out,’ you say as casually as you can.

Bro freezes in position over the cookbook. 

‘What’d you say?’ he asks, his voice flat.

‘I said I’d have to ask you for permission first, you know, we’re traditional like that,’ you deadpan. ‘I said yes, duh.’

It is not duh. It is not even a little bit obvious. You have no idea if Bro is going to let you get away with playing it cool or not.

‘Congrats!’ Jake says. ‘Which one’s Karkat?’

‘Uh,’ you say. You’re very conscious of special boyfriend powers knowing if you say something stupid. The special powers being you’ll probably tell Karkat exactly what you said word for word because you’re an idiot.

‘He’s the one who fell asleep at Dave’s 16th and we drew cat whiskers on him,’ Bro says, finally unfreezing from that one position, only to lean against the bench and freeze there instead. You can’t even tell if he’s breathing, he’s so weird.

‘I thought Nepeta did that,’ you say. You weren’t there for that shit and he still yelled at you for it. Of course it was Bro.

‘Yeah, we just gave her the markers,’ Bro says.

‘You cool?’ you ask, because he’s still being all weird and still.

‘Like a Kelvinator,’ he says automatically. ‘Just … surprised.’

Jake punches him in the shoulder and he staggers sideways a bit. 

‘Say something supportive!’

You see Bro’s eyes widen with alarm behind his shades. He looks at you with panic and you smirk. You’re not gonna let him off the hook.

‘I … am proud of you?’ he says. ‘Fuck, I don’t know. What do you want me to say?’

Jake sighs. 

‘We love and support you, Dave,’ he says.

‘Jesus, Jake, don’t make it gay,’ you tell him.

Bro smirks at you. Suddenly you have a thought.

‘Hey, how long have you two been …’

They both look at you blankly. You make a little gesture between the two of them. They look at each other as if to see if the other has figured what you’re trying to say out. 

‘Dating?’ you say uncertainly. You’re really not sure that they are dating.

Bro’s eyebrows go up and Jake laughs.

‘What month is it?’ Jake asks. ‘Oh! Next month it’ll be eight years! That’s better than a stab in the dick with a rusty poker, huh, Dirkironi and cheese pizza?’

‘Sure is,’ Bro says with zero fucking emotion.

You are absolutely not to blame for not picking up on this. Bro’s expression doesn’t shift an inch when talking about this upcoming anniversary and Jake’s almost on the other end of the spectrum. Everything’s exciting to him, so Bro doesn’t stand out.

Eight years, your parents would have still been around then. Bro only came around on the weekends and seemed pretty bored with you up until he had to take over raising you. Even after he took you in, really. Which you get. Ten year olds are lame.

‘Can this conversation be over?’ Bro says.

You shrug and go to the fridge. There’s only beer, apple juice and half a block of cheese. You take a juice before settling back on your stool. 

‘Or you could ask how Karkat asked Dave out! Or how long Dave’s liked him! Make sure he’s feeling okay!’

You sip at your juice and watch Bro’s utter revulsion at having to do some actual guardian shit above food provision and teaching you how to throw a proper punch. Jake looks at him expectantly for a bit, while Bro resists speaking. 

‘Dirk!’ Jake says, hitting Bro in the arm. 

‘Fine,’ Bro says. He shoves his hand in his pocket and then slams down two condoms onto the kitchen bench. ‘Just ‘cause he’s a dude doesn’t mean you can go without. And lube’s your best friend now.’

He turns to Jake. 

‘Happy?’

‘No!’ Jake says.

You hide a smirk behind another sip of juice and watch as Jake’s blush gets worse.

‘Well you’re about to get even less happy ‘cause those are my last two. Run to the store for me?’

‘Why were they in your _pocket?’_ Jake demands.

‘In case,’ Bro says.

‘Get ice cream while you’re out,’ you say.

‘I’m not going out, I’m teaching Dirk how to make lasagna!’

‘Neapolitan,’ Bro says. 

‘Dude, we always end up eating all the chocolate and leaving the rest,’ you say.

‘Jake’s payin’, what’s the big?’

‘I’m not paying! Or leaving!’

Bro frowns very slightly. You watch with interest as Jake melts. You kinda assumed when this shit went down before that Bro was implying he’d beat Jake up if he didn’t go along with his ideas. Is he … pouting?

‘Fine! Just follow the directions in the book, Dirk-the-jerk, and I’ll be giving you a bash in the chops when I’m back if you don’t.’

Bro smirks and Jake throws his hands up exasperatingly. Jake grabs his wallet and pats you roughly on the head as he passes. You let his hand shove you almost out of the stool because you know he’s not actually going to unseat you and fix your hair once he’s left. 

‘I’m gonna order pizza,’ Bro says.

‘From the place with all the weird toppings?’

He shrugs. You pick up a bit of raw onion that one of them chopped before you got in and eat it. He gives you a look of mild disgust. Then he picks up a piece too. It’s bigger than the one you took, the bastard. (It wasn’t that bad, you’ve definitely eaten worse.)

‘I want the one with tandoori on it,’ you say. 

‘And pineapple,’ Bro says, nodding.

‘Dude, it’s already weird.’

‘Agree to the pineapple or I ask for anchovies as well.’

You nod. It could be fine.

The two of you are basically picking at the onion like it’s a bowl of peanuts or something now. You need to stop. This isn’t even proving anything. 

‘You gonna stay with Karkat more than two days?’ Bro asks.

‘Hope so,’ you say. Shit, why does that question make you so nervous? You’re not that much of a commitment-phobe. 

‘Good, he’s a cool kid.’

‘No he’s not,’ you snort.

Bro acknowledges you with a bob of his head and finally takes the onion away from the bench so you stop eating it. He wisely takes away the garlic as well. You don’t think you could eat that raw anywhere near as calmly.

‘You cool? With everything? Do I actually need to say something parenty?’

‘Nah, I’m cool. I don’t know what real parents are supposed to say anyway. Apparently ‘Kat’s mum tried to throw him a “coming out party”,’ you say, making quotation marks with your fingers and tilting your head slightly to the side so he can tell you’re rolling your eyes under your shades.

Bro’s quiet.

‘Which is ridiculous,’ you prompt him. 

He’s still quiet. Like he’s thinking. You fucking hate when he’s thinking.

‘Bro …’

‘The _irony_ ,’ he says quietly.

Please, no. You briefly consider taking up religion just so that you have a God to pray for this not to be happening. Why are you always talking? You just say things and then people hear the things you say and then this bullshit happens.

‘ _Cowboy_ themed,’ Bro says.

‘ _No_.’

‘Wonder if I can hire a unicorn … but how would they get it on the roof?’

You wish you could go back in time and let past Dave know that the closet is probably a fine place to live for a bit. You groan and slide off your stool and onto the floor, lying face down as dramatically as you can.

‘Strippers is probably too far for high school students, right? What if they just stripped down to their g-strings?’

You really hope Jake gets back home soon.


End file.
